There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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