Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
