you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
a search helicopter?!
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
