So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
