as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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