Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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