I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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