I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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