He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
