We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
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