Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Randomize
