We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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