she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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