i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
