a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Randomize
