I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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