Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
