new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
They have beer where we have blood.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
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