Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
