I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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