And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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