Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
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