bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
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