Me too!
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
