I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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