How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
