my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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