So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
