it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize