just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
Randomize
