what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Randomize
