She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Tornado booty call.. dedication
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
