just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Randomize