Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Randomize
