Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
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