She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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