Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
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