I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize