Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
