so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Randomize
