where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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