the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
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