the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
Randomize
