Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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