I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize
