upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
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