I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
