Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
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