And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
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