your thong is hanging out like whoa
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
