I looked at my own cervix.
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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