your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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