I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Randomize