we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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