I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize