Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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