The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
