Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
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