You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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