I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Hippo gnu deer
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I just want nice things and good sex
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
