dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
we're so committed to being not committed
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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